Task 2 · Opinion (agree or disagree) · Health

Taxing sugar and fat

An agree-or-disagree essay on food taxes, where the band 9 answer argues the levy works on manufacturers rather than on shoppers.

The question

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some people believe that governments should place a heavy tax on foods that are high in sugar and fat in order to improve public health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A 250-word discursive essay — the half of the paper that carries two thirds of the marks. This prompt is original, written in the standard format for teaching purposes — it is not taken from any past paper.

What separates the three answers

The 6.5 and 7.5 both defend the tax as a way of changing what shoppers buy; the 9 argues it works by changing what manufacturers make, which is why a well-designed levy should end up collecting almost nothing.

Band 6.5

266 words (the task asks for at least 250)

The answer works. It addresses the task, the reader follows it, and the meaning survives — but ideas stay general, linking is mechanical, wording repeats, and small errors are visible throughout.

Nowadays the obesity is a serious problem in many countries, and the number of the people who have the diabetes is increasing every year. Some people think that the government must put a high tax on the food which contain a lot of sugar and fat4. I agree with this idea, because the health of the people is very important.

Firstly, when the price of something is high, the people buy it less. For example, in many countries the government put a big tax on the cigarettes, and after that many smokers stopped or reduced. The same thing can happen with the unhealthy food. If a bottle of soft drink becomes more expensive, the families will buy the water instead, and their children will be more healthy3.

Secondly, the government can use this money for the hospitals. The treatment of the obesity is very expensive for the health system, so it is fair that the companies who sell this food pay something. Moreover, the government can use the money for teaching the children about the healthy eating in the schools.

However, some people say that this tax is not fair for the poor families, because they have less money and the healthy food is more expensive than the unhealthy food. This is a good point, but I think the government can solve this by making the vegetables and the fruits cheaper.1

In conclusion, I strongly agree that the tax on the sugar and the fat is a good solution2, because it can reduce the consumption and also give the money to the government for the health.

What an examiner notices

1. Task response
“This is a good point, but I think the government can solve this by making the vegetables and the fruits cheaper.”
The counter-argument is conceded and then waved away. Naming a solution is not answering an objection; the examiner wants to know how the subsidy is funded and why it reaches the households in question.
2. Coherence and cohesion
“In conclusion, I strongly agree that the tax on the sugar and the fat is a good solution”
The conclusion restates the introduction in near-identical wording. It closes the essay without advancing it.
3. Lexical resource
“their children will be more healthy”
A one-syllable adjective takes the inflected comparative. Small, systematic form errors like this recur across the essay.
4. Grammatical range and accuracy
“the food which contain a lot of sugar and fat”
The relative clause takes a plural verb after a singular head noun, and the same slip returns in the government put and the companies who sell this food pay.

Why this sits at band 6.5

Task response: The position is clear and consistent, and the essay does something many at this level do not: it raises the fairness objection instead of ignoring it. The problem is what happens next. The objection is dismissed in a single clause about cheaper fruit and vegetables, with no explanation of who would pay for that or why it would follow. The tobacco comparison is the one developed idea in the essay; everything else is asserted.
Coherence and cohesion: Five paragraphs with a sensible job each, and the reader is never lost. The linking is entirely mechanical, though — Firstly, Secondly, Moreover, However, In conclusion, one at the head of each paragraph and one inside. The conclusion adds nothing that the body did not already say, and reuses its wording almost exactly.
Lexical resource: The vocabulary covers the topic but very few words are doing more than one job. The government appears six times with no substitution — no ministers, no policymakers, no the state. Healthy food and unhealthy food are the only descriptive pair available, and the article before nearly every abstract noun (the obesity, the healthy eating, the consumption) is a persistent, non-blocking inaccuracy.
Grammatical range and accuracy: The range extends to conditionals and relative clauses, both attempted successfully. Accuracy lags: the food which contain, the government put, the companies who sell this food pay something, and more healthy for healthier. The errors are frequent enough to notice in every paragraph but the meaning is never actually at risk, which is the defining balance of this band.

One honest caveat

Band labels here describe what each piece of writing demonstrates against the four published assessment areas, paraphrased in plain language. They are teaching illustrations produced for this site, not official material, and no sample has been marked by a test provider. Real scripts are marked whole; two answers with the same label can still look quite different from each other, and nothing on this page can promise anyone a particular result.

Taxing sugar and fat

The question

What separates the three answers

Band 6.5

What an examiner notices

One honest caveat

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The question

What separates the three answers

The three answers

Band 6.5

The answer

What an examiner notices

One honest caveat

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