Task 2 · Two-part question · Technology
Why smartphones became impossible to give up
A causes-and-effects essay in which the 6.5 promises to discuss society and then only discusses individuals — the commonest way this question shape is half-answered.
The question
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
People in many countries now depend heavily on their smartphones. Why has this happened? What effects does this dependence have on individuals and on society?
A 250-word discursive essay — the half of the paper that carries two thirds of the marks. This prompt is original, written in the standard format for teaching purposes — it is not taken from any past paper.
What separates the three answers
The 6.5 promises effects on society and delivers only effects on individuals; the 7.5 covers both; the 9 argues that the phone quietly became infrastructure, which is what makes the social effects predictable rather than merely listed.
The three answers
Band 6.5
252 words (the task asks for at least 250)The answer works. It addresses the task, the reader follows it, and the meaning survives — but ideas stay general, linking is mechanical, wording repeats, and small errors are visible throughout.
The answer
In the modern world, almost everybody has a smartphone and many people can not live without it. There are some reasons for this situation and it also has good and bad effects on the people and on the society1.
The main reason is that the smartphone can do everything. Before, we needed a camera for taking photos, a map for finding the way, a radio for listening the music and a computer for the email4. Now all of these things are inside one small device which we can put in our pocket. Also, the price of the smartphones became cheaper and the internet is faster than before, so even the people who have not much money can buy one. Another reason is the social media. All our friends are on these applications, so if we do not use the phone we will lose the contact with them and we will not know what is happening.
About the effects, there are positive and negative.2 The positive effect is that we can communicate very easy3 and we can find any information in one second. The negative effect is that many people spend too much time on the phone and they do not talk with their family. Some students also can not concentrate on their study because they check the phone every five minutes.
In conclusion, people depend on the smartphone because it is useful and cheap and because of the social media, and this dependence has both good and bad effects on our life.
What an examiner notices
1. Task response
“it also has good and bad effects on the people and on the society”
Society is promised in the introduction and never mentioned again. An unkept promise in an introduction is one of the fastest ways to lose marks on this criterion.
2. Task response
“About the effects, there are positive and negative.”
Sixty-six words follow for a question worth half the essay, and every effect is named without being developed into a consequence.
3. Lexical resource
“The positive effect is that we can communicate very easy”
'Effect' three times in three consecutive sentences, and an adjective where 'easily' is needed.
4. Grammatical range and accuracy
“a radio for listening the music and a computer for the email”
Two article slips and a missing preposition in nine words — the definite article before uncountable and generic nouns is the writer's most persistent weakness.
One honest caveat
Band labels here describe what each piece of writing demonstrates against the four published assessment areas, paraphrased in plain language. They are teaching illustrations produced for this site, not official material, and no sample has been marked by a test provider. Real scripts are marked whole; two answers with the same label can still look quite different from each other, and nothing on this page can promise anyone a particular result.
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