Task 2 · Problem and solution · Community
Loneliness among older people
A social isolation essay whose band 9 answer locates the cause in how neighbourhoods are built rather than in how families behave.
The question
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
In many societies, a growing number of older people live alone and have little regular contact with others. What are the causes of this isolation, and what could be done to reduce it?
A 250-word discursive essay — the half of the paper that carries two thirds of the marks. This prompt is original, written in the standard format for teaching purposes — it is not taken from any past paper.
What separates the three answers
The 6.5 wants families to visit more often; the 9 points out that isolation persists in places where families do visit, and asks what else has been lost.
The three answers
Band 6.5
289 words (the task asks for at least 250)The answer works. It addresses the task, the reader follows it, and the meaning survives — but ideas stay general, linking is mechanical, wording repeats, and small errors are visible throughout.
The answer
In the modern society, a lot of old people are living alone3 and they are feeling very lonely because they do not have the contact with the other people. This is a growing problem in many countries and in this essay I will discuss the causes and also I will suggest some solutions for this problem.
The first cause of this problem is the change of the family structure. In the past, the grandparents, the parents and the children were living together in one house, but nowadays the young people are moving to the big cities for the work or for the study, so the old parents are staying alone in their home town. Secondly, the modern life is very busy. The young people are working long hours and they do not have the time to visit their parents regularly. Moreover, when the old people are retiring, they are losing the contact with their colleagues4, and if their health is not good they can not go outside easily.
However, there are some solutions. Firstly, the family should give more time to their old parents and they should visit them at least one time in a week1. Secondly, the government should build more community centres where the old people can meet each other and do some activities together. In addition, we should teach the old people how to use the technology, for example the video call2, so they can talk with their family every day.
In conclusion, the causes of this problem are the change of the family, the busy life and the retirement, and the solutions are the family visits, the community centres and the technology. The society must not forget the old people who gave us so much.5
What an examiner notices
1. Task response
“the family should give more time to their old parents and they should visit them at least one time in a week”
The essay has just explained that adult children live in other cities and work long hours. The solution asks them to override the cause rather than removing it.
2. Task response
“we should teach the old people how to use the technology, for example the video call”
A plausible measure, but no consideration of whether a video call substitutes for the daily incidental contact the essay described losing.
3. Lexical resource
“In the modern society, a lot of old people are living alone”
'In modern society' takes no article, and 'a lot of' is informal for an academic opening. Both are small, and both are visible.
4. Grammatical range and accuracy
“when the old people are retiring, they are losing the contact with their colleagues”
A general truth expressed twice in the continuous. This tense choice is the most consistent grammatical feature of the essay.
5. Coherence and cohesion
“The society must not forget the old people who gave us so much.”
An emotive closing appeal rather than a conclusion drawn from the argument. Nothing above it supports or requires this sentence.
One honest caveat
Band labels here describe what each piece of writing demonstrates against the four published assessment areas, paraphrased in plain language. They are teaching illustrations produced for this site, not official material, and no sample has been marked by a test provider. Real scripts are marked whole; two answers with the same label can still look quite different from each other, and nothing on this page can promise anyone a particular result.
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