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Task 2 · Advantages and disadvantages · Technology

Automating routine office work

An outweigh question on office automation, where the band 9 answer refuses to net the gains against the losses because they land on different people.

The question

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

In many companies, software and artificial intelligence now carry out routine administrative work that was previously done by employees. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

A 250-word discursive essay — the half of the paper that carries two thirds of the marks. This prompt is original, written in the standard format for teaching purposes — it is not taken from any past paper.

What separates the three answers

The 6.5 lists benefits and drawbacks and leaves the reader to add them up; the 7.5 adds them up; the 9 points out that they are not added up by the same person.

The three answers

Band 6.5

256 words (the task asks for at least 250)

The answer works. It addresses the task, the reader follows it, and the meaning survives — but ideas stay general, linking is mechanical, wording repeats, and small errors are visible throughout.

The answer

In the modern world, the companies are using the softwares and artificial intelligence for doing the routine works in the office, which was done by the workers before. This essay will discuss both the advantages and the disadvantages of this development.1

On the one hand, there are many advantages of this development.3 Firstly, the machine can do the work very fast and it does not make the mistakes like human. For example, if a company use a software for the accounting5, the calculation will be always correct and the company will save the time. Secondly, it is cheaper for the company, because they do not need to pay the salary for many employees4 every month. So the company can use this money for other things like marketing.

On the other hand, there are also some disadvantages. Firstly, many people will lose their job because of the machines, and this is a very big problem for the society. Especially the older workers can not learn the new skills easily, so they will be unemployed for the long time. Secondly, the machines sometimes make the errors also, and if nobody in the office understand the system, it will be very difficult to fix the problem.

In conclusion, the automation in the office has both the advantages and the disadvantages. It is good for the company because it is fast and cheap, but it is bad for the workers because they lose the job. Both sides are important, so the companies should think carefully before they use this technology.2

What an examiner notices

  1. 1. Task response

    “This essay will discuss both the advantages and the disadvantages of this development.”

    The prompt asks whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Announcing a discussion of both is a different task, and the essay never comes back to the one that was set.

  2. 2. Task response

    “Both sides are important, so the companies should think carefully before they use this technology.”

    The conclusion is the last chance to answer the question, and it declines. In an outweigh essay a judgement is not optional decoration; it is the task.

  3. 3. Coherence and cohesion

    “On the one hand, there are many advantages of this development.”

    The second body paragraph mirrors this one exactly, connective for connective. Symmetry is standing in for comparison, so nothing is ever weighed against anything.

  4. 4. Lexical resource

    “it is cheaper for the company, because they do not need to pay the salary for many employees”

    'Pay the salary for' should be 'pay salaries to'. The words are right and the company they keep is wrong, which is the characteristic lexical error of this band.

  5. 5. Grammatical range and accuracy

    “if a company use a software for the accounting”

    Three slips in seven words: agreement after a singular subject, an uncountable noun given an article, and a definite article before a field of work. All recoverable, which is why this sits at 6.5 rather than lower.

One honest caveat

Band labels here describe what each piece of writing demonstrates against the four published assessment areas, paraphrased in plain language. They are teaching illustrations produced for this site, not official material, and no sample has been marked by a test provider. Real scripts are marked whole; two answers with the same label can still look quite different from each other, and nothing on this page can promise anyone a particular result.

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